Online "Close Relationships" Quiz

Instructions: Chapter Ten explains how relationship dialectics push and pull us in opposite directions simultaneously. We desire closeness with people we care about, yet we also want our independence. This "connection-autonomy" dialectic is a normal part of negotiating a relationship. Our desire for connection can be measured in the following online test. This test will also tell you about your attachment style, or how willing you are to become close to a romantic partner.

Visit happiness researcher Martin Seligman's website (http://www.authentichappiness.org) and fill out the "Close Relationships Questionnaire." You will need to register at the homepage first, but this process is safe, fast and easy. Once you have registered, there are many other personal improvement quizzes you can take in addition to the "Close Relationships Questionnaire."

In summary: Seligman delineates between four types of attachment styles: dismissing, preoccupied, fearful and secure. Note how all of these styles relate to the connection-autonomy dialectic discussed in the text. For example, the dismissing style describes a desire to maintain one's autonomy to the point of making close relationships difficult to achieve. The secure style describes a more balanced approach to intimacy, one that makes close relationships more satisfying and fulfilling. Whatever your attachment style, understand that it is in some part determined by the kind of relationship you are currently in.