Matchmaking refers to bringing two unmarried individuals together in an attempt to promote a marriage. Throughout history, many cultures have had arranged marriages in which the parents select their child's spouse. Often, parents have used matchmakers to locate suitable mates for their children. In this country, most young people are free to choose their husband or wife. Even so, as the selection below explains, they may still need some help locating suitable people to date as they search for Mr. Right or Ms Right. Surprisingly, in a recent, national survey of more than 1,000 college women (Glenn and Marquardt, 2001), most respondents said that it was rare for college men to ask them out on dates. Most women indicated that they would like to meet a spouse while at college, however. Since college, one third of the women reported that they had had only one or two dates, while half reported having six or more dates since college. Because the dating scene in college is changing, there is a shift from traditional dating to a greater variety of ways of finding people to date.

1 Although in an individual-choice courtship system young people make their own selections, many still want help in finding a mate. To fill this need, entrepreneurs all over the country have created a potpourri of dating services. The least expensive--and most risky--are the "Personals" or "Eligibles" sections in many newspapers and magazines. For a modest fee, individuals can run a small ad describing their qualities, the qualities they seek in a partner, and the type of relationship they desire. These personals make interesting reading but they represent a less-than-safe way to find a dating partner.

2 Computerized dating services are a more discreet but also more expensive approach. Some services call themselves "relationship agencies," and their approach is not too much different from that used by employment services. Dating services, popular in many major cities, charge a fee that can reach hundreds of dollars. Applicants fill out forms, describing their traits and the traits they want in a partner; some services videotape applicants' responses. Each customer's file (coded by number, not name, to ensure some privacy) is made available to those who have paid for the privilege. If questionnaire data on "Mr. X" looks good to a woman, she might ask to see his videotape. If she is interested in learning more about him, the agency might contact him by phone or postcard, indicating the manner in which he can contact the interested woman. From that point on, what happens in the relationship is up to the individuals involved.

3 The newest dating innovation is meeting people online, through subscription services or directly on the Internet. Some services offer chat rooms where strangers can get connected. As with personal ads, there are few safeguards to ensure the accuracy of the information people provide about themselves. Individuals often reveal only positive characteristics that they think will attract others to them. Although the subscription services and/or the Internet might be a simple and inexpensive way to meet someone initially, this approach to dating lacks intimacy and can be risky.

Source: David Olson and John DeFrain. Marriages and Families: Intimacy, Diversity, and Strengths, 4th ed. New York: The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2003, pp. 292-93.

In previous times, courtship was overseen by parents, and unmarried couples rarely had opportunities to meet alone.

Bill Gates and Michael Dell, who founded two of the world's most successful companies, are classic examples of entrepreneurs.

The gift shop offers an interesting potpourri of art objects, handicrafts, antiques, and floral items.

On reality television shows in which a man or women chooses a potential spouse, the person starts with a large group of "eligibles" and then narrows it down each week until one person is selected.

Politicians in particular should be discreet in their personal lives because any information about them may very well end up in the media.