Editing Exercises


1		*Rewrite the following paragraph in the spaces provided to eliminate problems with pronouns. Add, delete, and substitute words as needed.* The Bronze Age is a historical period that came between the Stone Age and the Iron Age. They use the term bronze to refer to it because its characterized by the use of bronze, an alloy of copper and tin, for tools and implements. The use of such tools began in about 5000 B.C., and by about 1500 B.C. Bronze Age technology had spread throughout Europe, the Middle East, India, and China, whose peoples, they say, developed systems of writing and arithmetic. They also developed the plow, domesticated farm animals, and created wheeled carts, all of which are significant milestones in technology that us moderns often take for granted. The Bronze Age also saw the rise of commerce and manufacturing in towns, the birth of commercial shipping, and the creation of many important trades and arts. Indeed, much of what Bronze Age peoples left has made it possible for us to continue to progress.



2		*Rewrite the following paragraph in the spaces provided to eliminate problems with pronouns. Add, delete, and substitute words as needed.* Both Marie Sklodowska Curie and her daughter Irene Curie Joliot make excellent starting points for an argument that women excel in science. Marie Sklodowska, whom was born in Warsaw, Poland, in 1867, was a chemist and physicist who's research won her acclaim around the world. In 1895, after she moved to Paris, she married Pierre Curie, another physicist that shared her interest in uranium. Together they discovered radium and polonium, whom she named after the country of her birth. With Henri Becquerel , the man that discovered radioactivity, Marie and Pierre Curie shared the Nobel Prize for physics in 1903. Eight years later, Marie won a second Nobel Prize, this time for chemistry. Thus she became the first person that had ever won the prize twice. Three years before that, Pierre Curie had begun teaching at the Sorbonne in Paris while continuing to pursue scientific research with his wife. In 1906, however, that ended because he was run over by a large horse-drawn wagon and was killed. Of course, Marie became distraught over that, but she vowed to complete that work. Indeed, she took up Pierre's professorship at the Sorbonne (she was the first woman that had ever taught at that university) and continued their research. The Curies had a daughter, Irene, that was as important to the history of science as her parents. In 1935, she won the Nobel Prize for chemistry with her husband Frederic Joliot.



3		*Rewrite the following paragraph in the spaces provided to eliminate problems with pronouns. Add, delete, and substitute words as needed.* The Copts are a people that claim to be descendants of the ancient Egyptians. They speak a language that has evolved from the language of the people whom were living at the time of the pharaohs. However, unlike the ancient Egyptians, whom employed hieroglyphics to write their language, the Copts use the Greek alphabet along with seven characters taken from an earlier form of Egyptian writing. Egypt was conquered by the Arabs in the seventh century A.D. It resulted in Islam becoming the country's dominant religion. However, the early Moslem rulers of Egypt, whom have been studied by historians of the Near East, were relatively tolerant of the Copts, whom were Christian. Today there are two Coptic churches: the Coptic Church, which is aligned with Rome, and the Coptic Orthodox Church, which is the main Christian church in Egypt and which has a closer connection with Greek Orthodoxy. Copts continue to practice their religion, but some Islamic fundamentalists have begun to harass and discriminate against them. That has caused Copts to leave Egypt and immigrate to the United States in increasing numbers.



4		*Rewrite the following paragraphs in the spaces provided to eliminate problems with pronouns. Add, delete, and substitute words as needed.* They named it "Bleeding Kansas," the five-year war between pro-slavery and free-soil settlers in the territory of Kansas. In 1854, the United States Congress passed the Kansas-Nebraska Act, who was sponsored by Stephen A. Douglas. He was the man that debated Abraham Lincoln and opposed him in the presidential election of 1860. The Kansas-Nebraska Act allowed the people of the two territories to decide for themselfs whether there states would be slave or free. In the past, it had been decided by Congress. Intended to stem the tide of violence over the question of the extension of slavery to new territories, it actually made matters worse. Pro-slavery settlers from Missouri flooded into Kansas, as did free-soilers from northern states. The two sides clashed in violent confrontations, the most significant being the battle at Lawrence, an antislave stronghold. Free-soilers, who's leader was John Brown—the same John Brown who would attack Harpers Ferry—retaliated in force. It is said that they believing that God was on their side imbued in them a religious fervor that made them fight even harder. At any rate, the attacks and counterattacks continued for several years until the bloodshed was finally stemmed in 1861. Kansas was admitted to the Union as a free state.



5		*Rewrite the following paragraph in the spaces provided to eliminate problems with pronouns. Add, delete, and substitute words as needed.* In the early 1990s, Italian archaeologists that were working in Syria found a collection of approximately 15,000 inscribed clay tablets including government, commercial, and religious records, who are thought to comprise the archives of a long-lost empire covering both Syria and Palestine. This hitherto undiscovered Canaanite civilization dates from about 2400 B.C.; it's capital city was called Ebla. Along with what we already know about this period, they finding these tablets may cast a great deal of light on biblical history. Interestingly, many of the place-names mentioned in the clay tablets found at Ebla are also found in the Old Testament, including Sinai, Gaza, and Jerusalem. Such names were probably well-known throughout the area. However, names of people such as Ab-ra-mu (Abraham) and E-sa-um (Esau) also appear in the tablets, as does Is-ra-ilu (Israel) itself. Ebrum, a Canaanite hero and king, is also mentioned in the tablets, and they think he may be Eber, the man from who the Hebrews believed themselfs descended. This is perhaps the most intriguing idea that has come from the discovery of this Bronze Age city.

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