Principle 6 Be honest about your feelings around infants and toddlers. Don't pretend to feel something that you don't or not to feel something that you do.

The caregiver believes part of her job is to help children with their feelings. She models being congruent--that is, showing what she really feels rather than pretending everything is okay when it's not. Not that she shows strong feelings in such a way that babies are frightened, but she believes if you are annoyed you shouldn't pretend not to be. One of the mothers in the program who is of a different culture from that of the caregiver always has a little smile on her face no matter what happens. The caregiver never can tell what she is feeling. The caregiver tells her about principle 6 and asks if she believes in it. She explains that in her culture equanimity is always the goal. Showing emotions is bad because it disrupts group harmony. She says that she wants her baby to learn to control expression of feelings and she's working on teaching him. The caregiver worries that she might be doing harm to the baby, but at the same time she believes in cultural sensitivity. The caregiver's goal is to bridge cultures. She seeks to understand the mother's point of view so they can together figure out what is best for the baby.

1			What do you think?
2			Is there a way you can see both points of view--the caregiver's and the mother's?
3			Is there one point of view that is more comfortable than the other for you?
4			Do you think these two will be able to understand each other and figure out what's best for this baby in this situation? What would it take for that to happen?
5			Can the baby learn both ways of expressing his feelings and eventually operate in two cultures equally well? If yes, what would it take for that to happen? If no, why not?