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Mosaic 1 Writing, 4/e
Laurie Blass
Meredith Pike-Baky

Money Matters

Editing Practice

Edit and rewrite the following paragraph. Look for problems in the following:


  • organization
  • irrelevant information
  • repetition
  • conclusion
  • pronoun reference
  • capitalization
  • punctuation
  • spelling



1

Sam Walton, king of department stores, American businessman and founder of Wal-Mart, was one of the great businessmen of the twentieth century. His company is now the largest retailer in the world with over 2200 stores. When Walton opened his first store in 1962, he did not think it would be such a huge success... The first store was located in the small city of rogers, Arkansas in 1962. The Wal-Mart store in rogers, Arkansas started the national chain of Wal-Mart discount stores. Walton's idea was to give customers the lowest prices he could. With the opening of the first store in 1962, Walton's idea grew in popularity. Sam Walton was a special person because Walton was at home with all kinds of people. Walton liked rich people and poor people. Sam Walton always believed in sharing his profits to help others, which in the end helped him as well. Wal-Mart began its profit-sharing plan in 1972. The profit sharing plan was a plan for Wal-Mart employees to share in the profits of their stores. Employees were also offered stock and store discounts. Mr. Walton believed that if he took care of the employees, the employees would take care of the customers. The idea that if he took care of the employees, the employees would take care of the customers was right. Today Wal-Mart is known for its friendly, helpful employees. It is easy to see that Sam Walton's philosophy is what made Wal-Mart such a success.