1. Clichés, jargon, slang
Clichés. Many once-brilliant metaphors and figures of speech are now so commonplace that they are meaningless. Don't rely on clichés such as these to describe a situation or to present an image:

• an eye for an eye, a far cry, nose to the grindstone, beast of burden, high time, water under the bridge, when the chickens come home to roost.

Jargon. Avoid using the specialized terminology of the sciences, arts and academic disciplines. Jargon is unintelligible to lay people, and when it comes into common usage, as has much computer terminology, it is pretentious.

Slang. Avoid colloquialisms and slang. Although some writers will use them with awareness to add vigor or local flavor to writing, colloquialisms and slang usually suggest ignorance of Standard English. They also tend to become dated very quickly.

One way to tighten a sentence is to use the positive form for assertions. The positive form not only shortens the sentence, but also can replace adjectives or verb phrases with active verbs and emphasis:

WEAK: Three of the six council members were not present at last night's meeting.
STRONGER: Three of the six council members were absent from last night's meeting.

WEAK: Professor Smith does not care about her students' complaints about homework.
BETTER: Professor Smith ignores her students' complaints about homework.

Writers who make each word count avoid the use of qualifying adjectives and adverbs such as very, rather, quite, kind of, sort of and somewhat. A play that is very good is simply good--unless it is excellent. A man who is rather tall is tall--or he towers. Someone who is rather tired is either tired or exhausted.

The use of modifiers also leads to another symptom of muddy writing: redundancies. Editor & Publisher carried this caption:

• The Associated Press staff in Santiago, Chile, goes back to work after armed gunmen from the Manuel Rodriguez Patriotic Front raided the office.
  If the raiders were gunmen, obviously they were armed. The use of adjectives and adverbs leads to these absurdities:
  
  

  totally destroyed	successfully docked
  first annual	fatally killed
  serious crisis

Sometimes redundancies and other useless words come in the form of prepositions added to verbs:

Another way to tighten your writing is to combine sentences;

WORDY: Mitch Ellington is the youngest player to make a hole-in-one on the course. He is 13.
BETTER: Thirteen-year-old Mitch Ellington is the youngest player to make a hole-in-one on the golf course.

<a onClick="window.open('/olcweb/cgi/pluginpop.cgi?it=jpg::::/sites/dl/free/0073511935/567265/Style_Icon2.jpg','popWin', 'width=NaN,height=NaN,resizable,scrollbars');" href="#"><img valign="absmiddle" height="16" width="16" border="0" src="/olcweb/styles/shared/linkicons/image.gif"> (6.0K)</a> Wrap Up Good writing makes for good reading. It also helps you, the writer, make your mark on the world. The mastery of writing is a way to exercise The mastery of writing is a way to exercise power, to inform people of situations they should know about. Brush up on your style, along with all the basics of writing, and you will find yourself with a "voice" that can make a difference. Good luck.

<a onClick="window.open('/olcweb/cgi/pluginpop.cgi?it=jpg::::/sites/dl/free/0073511935/567265/Part4_2.jpg','popWin', 'width=NaN,height=NaN,resizable,scrollbars');" href="#"><img valign="absmiddle" height="16" width="16" border="0" src="/olcweb/styles/shared/linkicons/image.gif"> (25.0K)</a> Freeman Ramsey, The Tennessean

Violent Crime Figures Down

1			Violent crime declined by 20 percent in Freeport last year, the (a) affect (b) effect of new anti-crime strategies, Police Chief Lloyd Earl said today.
			A)	affect
			B)	effect
2			The chief said the figures have (a) shown (b) showed critics of his anti-crime methods are "dead wrong."
			A)	shown
			B)	showed
3			Earl said that the figures showing (a) less (b) fewer crimes in the city "proves (a) it's (b) its proper to enforce even the smallest of laws."
			A)	less
			B)	fewer
4			Earl said that the figures showing (a) less (b) fewer crimes in the city "proves (a) it's (b) its proper to enforce even the smallest of laws."
			A)	it's
			B)	its
5			Two years ago, Earl (a) lay (b) laid down a set of rules for the local force.
			A)	lay
			B)	laid
6			The rules were different (a) from (b) than those that officers had been following. The new rules were opposed by some officers.
			A)	from
			B)	than
7			Their (a) principle (b) principal objection was to the time it would take for enforcement. But no attempt was made to (a) flaunt (b) flout the chief's orders.
			A)	principle
			B)	principal
8			Their (a) principle (b) principal objection was to the time it would take for enforcement. But no attempt was made to (a) flaunt (b) flout the chief's orders.
			A)	flaunt
			B)	flout
9			The figures show a 25 percent fall in homicides, 18 percent decline in assaults, 13 percent decrease in robberies and a 28 percent fall in rapes. Earl said the public could (a) imply (b) infer from the data that "the criminal population knows we mean business."
			A)	imply
			B)	infer
10			He said the city's experience should "send a message" to state legislators (a) who (b) whom are considering bills to increase penalties for lesser crimes.
			A)	who
			B)	whom