Chapter Overview

People skills are an essential ingredient for success in any career. These skills create a positive communication climate in which people feel valued. The key to building a positive climate is confirming communication, which conveys respect for the other person, even during a conflict. Confirming messages are phrased in descriptive "I" language. They focus on solving problems, not imposing solutions. They are honest, show concern for the other party, demonstrate an attitude of equality, and reflect the communicator's open-mindedness.

One way to create and maintain a positive communication climate is to offer praise. The chapter presented several guidelines for praising effectively. Since praise is not always possible, the chapter also included guidelines for delivering and receiving criticism.

The climate of a relationship can be enhanced by offering criticism in the most constructive manner. The chances for acceptance of criticism are best when a critical message is framed in a way that considers the content by limiting remarks to one topic, making sure they are accurate, defining the problem clearly, and showing how attending to the criticism can benefit the recipient. Choosing the most credible critic and making sure the remarks are appropriate to the critic's role can also maximize the beneficial effects of the criticism. Attention to the context is another way to maximize the chances that criticism will be well received: delivering remarks as part of a positive relationship, accepting partial responsibility for the problem, and accompanying criticism with an offer to help. Finally, delivering the criticism in a face-saving manner and a nonjudgmental tone can lead to a nondefensive response.

When on the receiving end of another person's criticism, several responses can prevent a communicator from becoming defensive. One approach is to seek more information from the critic before deciding whether his or her remarks are valid. Asking for examples or clarification, guessing about details when necessary, paraphrasing the critic, and asking what the critic wants are all ways of gaining more information. Agreeing with the facts of the criticism or with the critic's perception are also potentially effective.

On-the-job conflicts are inevitable. The goal should be to handle them constructively. There are five ways to handle conflict: avoiding, accommodating, competing, collaborating, or compromising. Each of these approaches has both advantages and drawbacks, so situational factors will usually govern which one to use at a given time.

Negotiations occur when two or more parties discuss specific proposals to find a mutually acceptable agreement. Negotiations can take four forms: competitive, lose-lose, compromise, and win--win. The approach that parties take during negotiations often determines the type of outcome that will result. The chapter outlined when to use competitive and win--win negotiating methods. Win--win outcomes arise when parties identify their needs clearly, brainstorm, and evaluate a variety of possible solutions before choosing the best one and following up on the solution after implementing it.