"There is no denying that women have an edge in the listening category," says Audrey Nelson in her book You Don't Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes (p. 264). However, men have a responsibility as well—"sit face to face, make continuous eye contact, touch (if appropriate), and employ nonfluencies like 'uh huh' and 'umm' to indicate they are listening. They should also eliminate any props or barriers to listening, which means putting away the remote, turning off the game, or setting aside the newspaper," she adds.

On the other hand, while women appear to be the champions in the listening department, they still have some homework to do! They must be sensitive to a man's level of discomfort when they are actively listening! He may dislike all the attentiveness (face-to-face position, eye contact, touch); in fact, it can cause him to shut down. Women must be patient—involved, but not too intense. They can self-disclose, but shouldn't tell too much, too soon. It may overwhelm the man. Remember, he is wrestling with his own feelings, and he's listening even though he may not be maintaining eye contact. If he really appears distracted and tuned out, ask him, "Is this a good time for you? You seem distant." Giving attention is generally not a man's forte! (p. 265)

Source: You Don't Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes, by Audrey Nelson, 2004, New York: Prentice Hall/The Berkley Publishing Group (a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.).

1			Why does most of the burden for effective listening—or communication within relationships—fall on the woman's shoulders and not the man's?
2			Why do men have to engage in all this "touchy-feely stuff"? Shouldn't female relationship partners just know that their male partners care about them and what they are saying?
3			Do you think that men and women truly think differently about feelings?
4			When a woman perceives that a man is not listening, could there be a variety of possible explanations? Could it be, for example, that the man is inattentive, unable to "understand" her, or unwilling to empathize with her? How often does not listening have a variety of explanations?