The most important relationships in our lives go through five stages as they are coming together: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding. Relationships that remain superficial go through only the first or second stage. When relationships come apart, they also go through five stages: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating.

In evaluating relationships, ask yourself questions about commitment, forming a relationship with another person, and making a commitment to a specific relationship and particular person. Next, you need to ask yourself questions about your partner. Following that, ask yourself questions about rewards and costs and, finally, ask yourself questions about roles.

To improve relationships you are likely to have to deal with aggressive talk and aggression, regrettable talk, criticism and complaints, avoidance, defensive communication, and conflict. There are no universal, all-encompassing, always successful ways for dealing with each of these areas; however, it should be clear that the better you are at applying the strategic flexibility framework, the better you will be at revealing empathy, using owned messages, and displaying assertiveness when necessary.

The bottom line was revealed in a study by the Institute for American Values and the techniques the survey uncovered that unhappy couples use to recover. The first is endurance; simply outlast the problems. The second is work ethic; put forth effort to solve problems, change behavior, and improve communication. The third is personal happiness; find other ways to improve your overall contentment. All of these techniques require commitment—a positive attitude toward relationships.

There are several ways to evaluate online relationships. We looked at red flags, tips for making the transition from online to real life smooth and safe, and suggestions for meeting in person.