People skills are an essential ingredient for success in any career. These
skills create a positive communication climate in which people feel valued.
The key to building a positive climate is confirming communication, which conveys
respect for the other person, even during a conflict. Confirming messages are
phrased in descriptive "I" language. They focus on solving problems,
not imposing solutions. They are honest, show concern for the other party, demonstrate
an attitude of equality, and reflect the communicator's open-mindedness. One way to create and maintain a positive communication climate is to offer
praise. The chapter presented several guidelines for praising effectively. Since
praise is not always possible, the chapter also included guidelines for delivering
and receiving criticism. The climate of a relationship can be enhanced by offering criticism in the
most constructive manner. The chances for acceptance of criticism are best when
a critical message is framed in a way that considers the content by limiting
remarks to one topic, making sure they are accurate, defining the problem clearly,
and showing how attending to the criticism can benefit the recipient. Choosing
the most credible critic and making sure the remarks are appropriate to the
critic's role can also maximize the beneficial effects of the criticism. Attention
to the context is another way to maximize the chances that criticism will be
well received: delivering remarks as part of a positive relationship, accepting
partial responsibility for the problem, and accompanying criticism with an offer
to help. Finally, delivering the criticism in a face-saving manner and a nonjudgmental
tone can lead to a nondefensive response. When on the receiving end of another person's criticism, several responses
can prevent a communicator from becoming defensive. One approach is to seek
more information from the critic before deciding whether his or her remarks
are valid. Asking for examples or clarification, guessing about details when
necessary, paraphrasing the critic, and asking what the critic wants are all
ways of gaining more information. Agreeing with the facts of the criticism or
with the critic's perception are also potentially effective. On-the-job conflicts are inevitable. The goal should be to handle them constructively.
There are five ways to handle conflict: avoiding, accommodating, competing,
collaborating, or compromising. Each of these approaches has both advantages
and drawbacks, so situational factors will usually govern which one to use at
a given time. Negotiations occur when two or more parties discuss specific proposals to find
a mutually acceptable agreement. Negotiations can take four forms: competitive,
lose-lose, compromise, and win--win. The approach that parties take during negotiations
often determines the type of outcome that will result. The chapter outlined
when to use competitive and win--win negotiating methods. Win--win outcomes arise
when parties identify their needs clearly, brainstorm, and evaluate a variety
of possible solutions before choosing the best one and following up on the solution
after implementing it. |