www.queendom.com

As covered in this chapter, communication styles vary from nonassertive to aggressive. We recommended that you strive to use an assertive style while avoiding the tendencies of being nonassertive or aggressive. In trying to be assertive, however, keep in mind that too much of a good thing is bad. That is, the use of an assertive style can transform to an aggressive one if it is taken too far.

A Free Self-Assertive Questionnaire for Assertiveness

The purpose for this exercise is to provide you with feedback on the extent to which you use an assertive communication style. Go to the Internet home page for Body-Mind Queendom (www.queendom.com), and click on the box “Tests & Profiles.” (Note: Our use of this site is for instructional purposes only and does not constitute an endorsement of any products that may or may not suit your needs. There is no obligation to buy anything.) Next, click on the “Relationships” category. Under the heading “Classic Tests,” choose “Assertiveness Test Abridged.” Complete the quick 10-item questionnaire and hit the scoring button. Read the interpretation of your results. (Note: Queendom frequently updates its collection of tests, but the site always has good communication-related questionnaires such as the “Communications Skills Test.” You may need to do some browsing, but it will be well worth the effort.)

Questions

1. How did you score? Are you surprised by the results? Do you agree with the interpretation of your score?
   
   
2. Reviewing the questionnaire item by item, can you find aspects of communication in which you are either nonassertive or possibly too assertive? Do you think that your communication style can be improved by making adjustments within these areas of communication?
   
   
3. Based on the results of this questionnaire, develop an action plan for improving your communication style. Table 12-1 is a helpful source.