Complete the Destructive Anger exercise

Discussion Not all anger is destructive. Sometimes anger is a catalyst that brings about important changes. Other times, though, our anger can get the best of us. It happens because we're human. Learning to manage your anger is one of the hallmarks of becoming a competent communicator. There are four things you can do. One, re-frame your self-talk. If Veronica would concentrate on how her lost cat was an accident instead of a deliberate act by a conniving boyfriend, she would probably not be nearly so upset. Two, speak and listen non-defensively. If Jay had politely informed the couple ahead of him that the line started in back, they may have apologized, taken their correct spot in line and he could've enjoyed the movie instead of plotting his next seat kick. Three, deliberately calm yourself. Matt, in particular, needs to count to 10, slow his breathing and/or go for a walk. Experts estimate that it takes about 20 minutes to calm yourself when you are enraged. If Matt had gone for a walk instead of punching a wall, he might still have a girlfriend today. Lastly, change your focus. If Kyra had decided to do something else with her day, like ride a bike or play with her little sister, she might not have felt so bad and run up her phone bill. Remember that dealing with your anger is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Take each strategy one at a time and work on them. Remember that you decide how you're going to respond. Easy does it.

Websites for consideration:

http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html - From the American Psychological Association, this site discusses the nature of anger, research on anger and strategies for dealing with one of life's toughest emotions.