Robyn - Although I'm sure I have a very high need for affiliation,
I am a classic American who looks out for myself when the chips are down.
As much as I hate to admit that, I've noticed as of late that it's really
true. I have a really close relationship with my best friend, and I put
a lot of time and energy into him. But, try as I might to truly look out
for his best interests first, I always end up getting in the way. He sees
that I do give a lot, but only where it's convenient for me to do so.
When it really starts infringing on me, my tendency is to do what's best
for me and separate myself from the situation a little bit. Ting-Toomey
would say that my face concern is for myself: in conflict I become much
more aggressive than cooperative. My face need is negative as I strive
for autonomy when I just can't be bothered anymore. So, putting the two
together, I spend time working on face-restoration by trying to give myself
freedom and space.
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