One of the basic human motives is well-being, what we might call living the good life. It is more clearly a social cognitive motive for our behavior than a physical one like sex or hunger.

What would be on your list of items for living the good life? Happiness? Time to spend with the people you love? Freedom to do what you want when you want to do it? Intelligence and wisdom? People place different value on these aspects of well-being. In other words, well-being is subjective. Indeed, when researchers study well-being they often refer to it as subjective well-being.

Richard Ryan and Edward Deci (2000) propose that three factors need to be present for well-being:

• Competence: doing whatever you attempt well. Competence involves using your intelligence and skills effectively and feeling a sense of mastery.
• Autonomy: doing things independently. Autonomy involves intrinsic motivation, self-initiation, and self-determination.
• Affiliation: being with other people. Affiliation includes establishing, maintaining, and restoring warm, close, personal relationships.

In Ryan and Deci's view, the level to which these needs are satisfied directly affects the sense of well-being. Insufficient challenge, excessive control by others, and lack of connectedness weaken a person's initiative and sense of responsibility and in some cases produce distress and psychological problems.

Some psychologists stress that you can have too much autonomy (Schwarz, 2000). In this view, excessive personal autonomy, freedom, and self-determination creates an imbalance that may undermine a person's motive to achieve competence and affiliation. Also, cultures often vary in the extent to which they emphasize either autonomy or affiliation. For instance, Americans lean toward autonomy, the Japanese toward affiliation.

Carol Ryff and Burton Singer (1998) have conducted research on well-being for a number of decades. They conclude that living the good life and experiencing well-being enhances both physical health and psychological health. Furthermore, they argue that positive psychological health is most likely to be achieved by (1) leading a life of purpose (a sense of doing something meaningful), (2) having quality connections with others (affiliation and relatedness), (3) having positive self-regard (self-esteem), and (4) having mastery (a sense of competence and doing things effectively).