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Exercise IV: Brevity
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1

A. Appointees

     Figure 2.1 is a release from the Federal Trade Commission. Rewrite for:

  1. A newspaper in Boston.
  2. A newspaper in Lexington, Ky.
  3. The Associated Press wire.
Figure 2.1 (Click for larger image) (246.0K)
2

B. Belmont

     The city editor tosses the following three releases on your desk and asks you to rewrite them for today's paper.

Belmont Motel
7989 Airport Road
765-4321
P. Lyon, Director of Press Relations
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

     The Belmont Motel today announced an underwater extravaganza will be held next month in Freeport in the motel's magnificent Turquoise Pool, which is the world's largest indoor swimming area.
     The festivities will include entertainment by a bevy of colorful motion picture and television stars and starlets. Beginning June 21st and running through the 23rd, the activities will include a water show to begin the gala weekend on Friday at 8 p.m. Paul Nissen's Bathing Beauties, 12 pretty and curvaceous swimming stars, will open the weekend with coordinated swimming and diving. Their home base is Miami, Fla.
     Saturday will feature former Olympic swimming greats Frieda Schwartz of Berlin and Mark Switzer of Switzerland, who will combine their talents to offer a magnificent display of underwater acrobatics. Following their show at 1 p.m., competitions will be held for all hotel guests in various swimming categories: 100-yard dash (under 21 years of age; 21–35; and senior citizens); backstroke (same categories); diving from high and low platforms (open). Winners will receive all-expense weekends in the Belmont Motel.
     Sunday, there will be personal appearances by Buster C. Rabbe and Holly (Kitten) Grove, a toddler's wading contest in the children's pool and other activities.

     Albert Gill Associates
     Public Relations Consultants
     Times-Mirror Plaza
     Los Angeles, Calif.

     The underwater film festival scheduled for next month in Freeport will add another well-known aqua-star to its imposing list of cinematic and television greats. Buster C. Rabbe, star of the TV drama "Seafarer," will appear next month to demonstrate a new lightweight underwater movie camera made by the Hashiki Industries of Tokyo, creators of the famous Hashiki-O, the official underwater camera which will be used to film the festival.
     (Radio announcers note: Rabbe is pronounced Rab, as in dab.)
     Triple A Ads, Inc.
     From: Barney Bishop
     To: Freeport News, exclusive.

     A vivacious Georgia Peach will be one of the stars at the underwater extravaganza scheduled for next month in the Belmont Motel's Turquoise Pool, the world's largest indoor swimming pool.
     Holly (Kitten) Grove will attend the film festival, straight from the West Coast.
     Now pursuing her career in Hollywood, Kitten has crowded a number of exciting activities into her 19 years.
     Born into a Southern family that traces its lineage back to the Scotch Highlanders, Kitten began winning beauty contests at the age of 16. Among her laurels are runner-up, Athens Press Photography Beauty Queen; Athens High School Miss Cut-Up; Freshman Beauty Queen, University of Georgia; Miss Revlon; Maid of Cotton semifinalist; and Miss Salvo, Naval ROTC, University of Georgia.
     Kitten, a bountiful 36-24-36, has appeared on several television shows.








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