Site MapHelpFeedbackEditing Exercises - Eliminating Redundancies
Editing Exercises - Eliminating Redundancies
(See related pages)

1. Rewrite the following paragraph to eliminate repetition and to make it more direct.


1) The word comet derived from an ancient Greek word that means "long-haired" in that language. 2) Comets are relatively small bodies of material that travel around the sun in solar orbits, which have been described as elliptical paths. 3) As a comet gets nearer and nearer to the sun and gets within close proximity of this heavenly body, light causes the melting of icy type matter at the nucleus of the comet's centre, leaving behind in its wake gases and bits of dust particles that have come together to form the comet's tail, the very thing that gave the comet its ancient name in the first place. 4) While often appearing as only a fuzzy light in the nighttime sky, comets can be very, very long, measuring millions and millions of miles in length, all the way from nose to tail. 5) In actuality, there are really two types of comets: short-period comets, which go through their complete orbits in less than 200-year periods, and long-term comets, which pass the sun at time intervals of thousands or even millions of years.

2. Rewrite the following paragraph to eliminate repetition and to make it more direct.


1) The Torah, a word that means "the teaching" in Hebrew, is the name that the Hebrews gave to the writings that we see in the first five books with which the Bible begins. 2) These first five books are known in the English language as Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. 3) Christians call these five books, when taken together, the Pentateuch. 4) Genesis is the story that explains the creation of the world and of the human race. 5) Included in this first book is the story of Adam and Eve, the fall from grace, and even the story of Noah's ark, the tale of how Noah assured the continued survival of the human race and several species of animal types during the great deluge that destroyed the world. 6) The book named Exodus recalls that it was Moses who led the Jews out of captivity to escape from Egypt. 7) Leviticus, which is a book named after the Levites, a priestly caste, explains laws of purity and discusses methods for the way in which priests are to be installed. 8) Numbers, another book, continues the story of the escape from Egypt, which was begun back in Exodus. 9) It tells of the eight-year period in which the Hebrew people were in Sinai and of their coming to Canaan, which to them was the Promised Land. 10) The title for the book of Numbers comes from the fact that the Hebrew people took one census at the beginning of their journey, and then they took another census at the end of their journey. 11) The name of the fifth book, which is Deuteronomy, means "second law." 12) In it, Moses appeals to his people to keep faith in God, stay obedient to his laws, and remain loyal. 13) The events in this book took place over a period that lasted about 40 days.

3. Rewrite the following paragraph to eliminate repetition and to make it more direct.


1) The word Swahili comes from "Sawahiliy," a word in the Arabic language; it means relating to or having to do with the coast. 2) Therefore, it is only fitting that this word should be applied to a group of people who inhabit coastal areas and lands on the eastern side of the African continent. 3) The Swahili live in a very huge territory stretching from the country of Somalia to and including the nation of Mozambique. 4) The language of the Swahili is one of the Bantu languages, which are spoken by millions of people in various parts of Africa, especially by those in the eastern and central parts of that continent. 5) Indeed, Swahili has been adopted by the nation of Tanzania as one of its legal or official languages. 6) In fact, nearly 50 million people speak Swahili, and it is the most frequently taught African language in American colleges and universities of higher learning. 7) Currently, a dictionary of the Swahili language is now being collected on the Internet. 8) If you want to learn more about it, try this Internet address on the World Wide Web: gopher://

4. Rewrite the following paragraph to eliminate repetition and to make it more direct.


1) Homeopathic medicine is an alternative to the traditional type of medicine practiced by doctors. 2) Homeopathy is based on the belief that a drug that brings on minor symptoms of a disease in a person who enjoys good health can be used to attack and cure that disease in that person. 3) A German doctor by the name of Samuel Hahnemann, who lived from the years 1755 to 1843, first wrote about the homeopathic treatment of disease in a work that is entitled Organon of Therapeutics, which is an early medical study on the subject of pathology. 4) The treatment of disease through the practice of homeopathy remained popular in the United States until about 100 years ago. 5) Since that time, however, the American medical establishment has not recognized this treatment as valid. 6) However, there are doctors on the continents of Europe and Asia who continue to practice homeopathy today. 7) Indeed, there are many people who rely on homeopathic treatment as an alternative to more established, accepted, and traditional medical practices.

5. Rewrite the following paragraph to eliminate repetition and to make it more direct.


1) The Chinese practice of acupuncture as well as several other Chinese arts of healing have been in use for millennia. 2) The principle underlying the practice of acupuncture can be found in a manuscript that dates back to about 200 BC. 3) The founders of acupuncture believed in a life force, which they came to name qi. 4) Present throughout nature, this life force is also present in human beings, for it controls the movements of the human body, both those that are voluntary and those that are involuntary. 5) Qi flows through various kinds of pathways, which have come to be called "meridians." 6) If the flow of this energy is blocked, what will result is some type of illness or disease in the body. 7) When an acupuncturist sticks needles into various points along these meridians, the flow of energy is restored and, in that way, the patient is healed.

Business Communication NOWOnline Learning Center

Home > Editing Skills > Wordiness > Editing Exercises - Eliminating Redundancies