Selection 3: Dating and Matchmaking Services
(marriage and family)

Matchmaking refers to bringing two unmarried individuals together in an attempt to promote a marriage. Throughout history, many cultures have had arranged marriages in which the parents select their child's spouse. Often, parents have used matchmakers to locate suitable mates for their children. In this country, most young people are free to choose their husband or wife. Even so, as the selection below explains, they may still need some help locating suitable people to date as they search for Mr. Right or Ms Right. Surprisingly, in a recent, national survey of more than 1,000 college women (Glenn and Marquardt, 2001), most respondents said that it was rare for college men to ask them out on dates. Most women indicated that they would like to meet a spouse while at college, however. Since college, one third of the women reported that they had had only one or two dates, while half reported having six or more dates since college. Because the dating scene in college is changing, there is a shift from traditional dating to a greater variety of ways of finding people to date.

1. Although in an individual-choice courtship system young people make their own selections, many still want help in finding a mate. To fill this need, entrepreneurs all over the country have created a potpourri of dating services. The least expensive—and most risky—are the "Personals" or "Eligibles" sections in many newspapers and magazines. For a modest fee, individuals can run a small ad describing their qualities, the qualities they seek in a partner, and the type of relationship they desire. These personals make interesting reading but they represent a less-than-safe way to find a dating partner.
2. Dating services are a more discreet but also more expensive approach. Some services call themselves "relationship services," and their approach is not too much different from that used by employment services. Dating services, popular in many major cities, charge a fee that can reach hundreds of dollars. Applicants fill out forms, describing their traits and the traits they want in a partner; some services videotape applicants' responses. Each customer's file (coded by number, not name, to ensure some privacy) is made available to those who have paid for the privilege. If questionnaire data on "Mr. X" looks good to a woman, she might ask to see his videotape. If she is interested in learning more about him, the agency might contact him by phone or postcard, indicating the manner in which he can contact the interested woman. From that point on, what happens in the relationship is up to the individuals involved.
3. The most popular dating innovation is meeting people online, through subscription services or directly on the Internet. Some services offer chat rooms where strangers can get connected. As with personal ads, there are few safeguards to ensure the accuracy of the information people provide about themselves. Individuals often reveal only positive characteristics that they think will attract others to them. Although the subscription services and/or the Internet might be a simple and inexpensive way to meet someone initially, this approach to dating lacks intimacy and can be risky.

Source: David Olson and John DeFrain. Marriages and Families: Intimacy, Diversity, and Strengths, 5th ed. New York: The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2006, pp. 276-77.

Comprehension Questions

1	Videotapes are usually a feature of
	A)	personal ads.
	B)	dating services.
	C)	Internet subscription services.
	D)	Internet chat rooms.
2	Ads in publications, computerized dating services, and online and Internet services
	A)	are inexpensive ways to meet people.
	B)	target individuals in their 20s and 30s.
	C)	will likely be replaced by a return to more "old-fashioned" ways of meeting people to date.
	D)	all carry some degree of risk.
3	Personal ads and online and Internet services are similar in that
	A)	individuals may provide inaccurate information in order to make themselves appear more appealing.
	B)	they charge a modest fee.
	C)	ads and information can be posted for only 30 days.
	D)	they are designed to cheat people out of their money.
4	The most expensive dating service is likely to be
	A)	personals ads.
	B)	dating services.
	C)	Internet subscription services.
	D)	Internet chat rooms.
5	Dating services code customers' files by number rather than by name, in order to
	A)	make sure they receive their fees from clients.
	B)	organize clients' files more easily.
	C)	simplify their paperwork.
	D)	protect clients' privacy.

Vocabulary Questions

Directions: Questions 6-10 give you the opportunity to use context clues to deduce the meaning of certain words from the selection. The first sentence for each item comes from the selection and contains a vocabulary word, which appears in italics. The second sentence is not from the selection, but it uses the vocabulary word in the same sense as in the first sentence, and it contains additional context clues. Answer each question by clicking on the answer choice that makes sense in both sentences.

6	"Although in an individual-choice courtship system young people make their own selections, many still want help finding a mate." In previous times, courtship was overseen by parents, and unmarried couples rarely had opportunities to meet alone. courtship
	A)	a series of appearances in court
	B)	a series of secret meetings
	C)	a series of social interactions intended to lead to marriage
	D)	a series of dates arranged far in advance
7	"To fill this need, entrepreneurs all over the country have created a potpourri of dating services." Bill Gates and Michael Dell, who founded two of the world's most successful companies, are classic examples of entrepreneurs. entrepreneurs
	A)	people who organize, manage, and assume the risks of starting a business
	B)	inventors who holds patents on their creations
	C)	business people who buy goods from other companies
	D)	people whose business consists of leasing equipment
8	"To fill this need, entrepreneursall over the country have created a potpourri of dating services." The gift shop offers an interesting potpourri of art objects, handicrafts, antiques, and floral items. potpourri
	A)	a set of similar services or items
	B)	a set or group that is too large
	C)	an accumulation of modern items or services
	D)	a set of services or items of various types
9	"The least expensive—and most risky—are the "Personals" or "Eligibles" sections in many newspapers and magazines." On reality television shows in which a man or women chooses a potential spouse, the person starts with a large group of "eligibles" and then narrows it down each week until one person is selected. eligibles
	A)	those who are qualified to participate or be chosen
	B)	those who help others out
	C)	those who are seeking work in the journalism or television industry
	D)	those who help arrange the marriages of others
10	"Dating services are a more discreet but also more expensive approach." Politicians in particular should be discreet in their personal lives because any information about them may very well end up in the media. discreet
	A)	humiliating; embarrassing
	B)	careful to consider all possible consequences
	C)	technologically advanced
	D)	legal; conforming to the rules of law

Applied Reading Skills Questions

Directions: Questions 11-15 test your ability to apply certain reading skills. Answer each question by clicking on the correct answer. You may refer to the selection as you answer the questions.

11	Based on the information in the selection, the authors would most likely agree with which of the following statements?
	A)	The best way to meet people to date is through online dating services.
	B)	Online dating services should restrict their services to people who are serious about getting married.
	C)	Men will find online dating services more helpful than women will.
	D)	Users of online dating services should educate themselves about the risks so that they can take steps to minimize their risk.
12	The overall organization of the selection is
	A)	a set of causes explaining why people use various types of dating services.
	B)	a sequence of services individuals should try when they wish to find people to date.
	C)	a set of effects of using various types of dating services.
	D)	a list of dating services and their strengths and limitations.
13	The authors' primary purpose in writing this selection is to
	A)	describe how various dating services work and the advantages and disadvantages of each.
	B)	persuade readers not to use dating services.
	C)	instruct readers how to choose a dating service.
	D)	convince readers that dating services can be completely safe if they are used appropriately.
14	Which of the following statements best summarizes the selection?
	A)	The two major ways people find others to date are through newspaper ads and computerized dating services.
	B)	There are several dating services available to individuals, and all of them are dangerous.
	C)	Several kinds of dating services are available, and they vary in terms of safety and expense.
	D)	Newspaper ads and computerized dating services are now being replaced by the newest innovation, meeting people online.
15	The most expensive type of matchmaking service is
	A)	personals ads.
	B)	eligibles ads.
	C)	dating services.
	D)	Internet chat rooms.