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Exercise 3-4.3
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Quizzes: How to Revise > Revising long, wordy sentences

Without eliminating any essential ideas, revise the following sentences to make them more concise. Consider whether each word or phrase is necessary or might be shortened.


Ticket prices were more expensive this year, ranging from $20 to $25, whereas last year's tickets ranged from $15 to $20.

It is essential that she make a decision to make her first semester at college – and all of her semesters – productive.

Amid the wide variety of French dining restaurants in Seattle, Marcel's Café does not stand out from its competition.

The scene at the beginning of the film is important to our later understanding of the two different personalities at war in Gollum's head.

Other Wildlife Commission officers say they are worried that the proposal to build seven salamander tunnels in a corresponding number of positions under the road from the lake to Percy Park will cost more than the money allotted for the project in the budget.

On rainy days, there are few indoor areas on campus that are not constantly occupied by students.

Before anything else, get rid of the food coloring, especially in the potato salad, because you can just buy potatoes that are purple to begin with.

There is a tendency among students, many of whom may be seen to display anxiety at exam time, to cram more words into sentences in the hopes of impressing professors with the sheer bulk of their responses.

The article, which is titled "In Praise of Brevity," was labeled by most readers as biased.

One of the most surprising aspects of the war was the fact that it was never officially declared a war by the president.

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